Dinings is Monocle Magazine's unstructured-blazer-wearer-in-chief, Tyler Brule's favourite London restaurant. So like any self-respecting member of the world's globe-trotting, minimal-aesthetic-appreciating tribe, I had to check it out.
The staff greet you with a halfhearted cry of "IRRASHAEMASE!", the traditional welcome at a Japanese restaurant. But in a Marlyebone townhouse staffed by pan-european croydon facelifts, it's more than a little bit embarrassing.
The atmosphere is subdued, and the crowd very international. The monochrome Korean couple at the next table were only two drinks away from a nut rage incident.
The waiting staff presented us with a series of beautifully-executed nigiri: seared yellowtail with yuzu pickle; salmon with a savoury salsa; and a molten slab of seared otoro.
The house special of sea bass carpaccio with truffle oil and salsa sounds unconvincing, but it's a smash hit. Delightfully kleptocratic and rich, like dinner in Moscow with your new father-in-law - Vladimir Putin.